Anonymous asked: okay, like, maybe i'm late but firefly au where steve is the captain and tony is like, whatever you want him to be but he's THERE AND THEY ARE IN LOVE
"I’ve given Natasha here the job of finding out," Steve announces, and steps aside to reveal Natasha, twirling a knife in her hand.
The blade flashes between her fingers, and the man squeaks when Natasha smiles and says, “He was not specific as to why.”
Steve nods for her to turn, and she does, standing close enough so the man can’t hear their voices. “We just want to scare him, Nat.”
She blinks at him. “Pain is scary.”
Tony spreads his arms. “So. Would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?”
"No," Bruce answers blandly. "I brought you supper. But if you’d prefer, I have a few very catchy ones prepared. Sin and hellfire- one has lepers."
Tony snorts. “I think I’ll pass. Got my tools?”
Bruce holds out the toolbox, and Tony beams.
"Let’s play, doctor."
"Testing," Clint says loudly. "Testing, one-two-three. Can you hear me, Cap?"
"I’m right here," Steve says.
Clint nods. “You’re coming through clear, Cap.”
"Because I’m RIGHT HERE," Steve says, loud enough that Clint winces away from his earpiece.
"What did I tell you about barging into my shuttle?"
Clint leans on the doorframe. “That is was manly and impulsive?”
"Mm," Natasha says, lighting her incense with the same precision he’s seen her light a bomb. "The exact phrase I used was ‘don’t."
"You fought with Bucky Barnes in the war?"
"And your husband?"
"Fight with him sometimes, too," Steve answers.
The guard smirks, but then his mouth flattens out. “Any particular reason you don’t want to discuss your marriage, Captain Rogers?”
Steve shrugs, the handcuffs making it harder to do so. “We’re very private people.”
"The legs," Tony says. "Yeah, definitely have to say it’s his legs. You can write that down," he says, nodding his head towards the bewildered guard, who picks up a pencil, confused.
"His legs, and where his legs meet his back," Tony continues, tipping his head back. "Actually, the whole area. That, and above it. Have you seen his uniform, god. Ever been with a super soldier?”
"Appears we got here in the nick of time," Steve yells over the sound of the engine. "What does that make us, Buck?"
"Big damn heroes, Cap," Bucky yells back, gun cocked.
"I don’t want you to spare me, Steve," Tony snaps, turning uselessly as he strains to see past the blindfold. "If you think you know what’s happening, then you tell me. You wouldn’t spare Bucky if he were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and… possibly scheming. So whatever Bucky would do in this instance is what I wanna do. Do you know why? No matter how fucking bad it gets, you two always come back- with the stories. So… I’m Bucky. Now,” he says, and pauses as he bumps into a wall. “What do I do?”
"Probably not talk so much," Steve tells him.
Tony flips him off, even though neither of them can see it and he’s probably pulling the finger at the same wall he bumped into. He likes to think Steve gets the gist.
Natasha stops them before they get to shoot. “This is something Stark has to do himself.”
"NO," Tony screams, struggling not to get thrown over the side. "NO, IT’S NOT!"
"Oh," Natasha says, and fires at the man trying very hard to strangle their engineer.
"Tony thinks we have some sexual tension to work off," Steve says, absolutely deadpan, and Bucky raises his eyebrows.
"I know this is a difficult mission," Steve continues, "but we have to get it on."
Bucky’s expression goes faux-flat. “I completely understand, Cap. We have no choice.”
"Take me, Buck," Steve says. "Take me hard."
"Ha, ha, shut up, we were being tortured," Tony says, and Steve is grinning as Tony drags him away by his collar. "We’ll be in our bunk," he calls to the others.
Clint tilts the hat on his head until it’s over most of his forehead. “Well,” he asks, posing. “What do you think?”
"It’s cunning," Natasha says, lips twitching.
Beside her, Thor is nodding. “A man walks down the street in that hat, they know he’s not afraid of anything,” he says gravely.