Anonymous asked: okay, like, maybe i'm late but firefly au where steve is the captain and tony is like, whatever you want him to be but he's THERE AND THEY ARE IN LOVE




"I’ve given Natasha here the job of finding out," Steve announces, and steps aside to reveal Natasha, twirling a knife in her hand.

The blade flashes between her fingers, and the man squeaks when Natasha smiles and says, “He was not specific as to why.”

Steve nods for her to turn, and she does, standing close enough so the man can’t hear their voices. “We just want to scare him, Nat.”

She blinks at him. “Pain is scary.”


Tony spreads his arms. “So. Would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?”

"No," Bruce answers blandly. "I brought you supper. But if you’d prefer, I have a few very catchy ones prepared. Sin and hellfire- one has lepers."

Tony snorts. “I think I’ll pass. Got my tools?”

Bruce holds out the toolbox, and Tony beams.

"Let’s play, doctor."


"Testing," Clint says loudly. "Testing, one-two-three. Can you hear me, Cap?"

"I’m right here," Steve says.

Clint nods. “You’re coming through clear, Cap.”

"Because I’m RIGHT HERE," Steve says, loud enough that Clint winces away from his earpiece.


"What did I tell you about barging into my shuttle?"

Clint leans on the doorframe. “That is was manly and impulsive?”

"Mm," Natasha says, lighting her incense with the same precision he’s seen her light a bomb. "The exact phrase I used was ‘don’t."


"You fought with Bucky Barnes in the war?"

"I did."

"And your husband?"

"Fight with him sometimes, too," Steve answers.

The guard smirks, but then his mouth flattens out. “Any particular reason you don’t want to discuss your marriage, Captain Rogers?”

Steve shrugs, the handcuffs making it harder to do so. “We’re very private people.”


"The legs," Tony says. "Yeah, definitely have to say it’s his legs. You can write that down," he says, nodding his head towards the bewildered guard, who picks up a pencil, confused. 

"His legs, and where his legs meet his back," Tony continues, tipping his head back. "Actually, the whole area. That, and above it. Have you seen his uniform, god. Ever been with a super soldier?”


"Appears we got here in the nick of time," Steve yells over the sound of the engine. "What does that make us, Buck?"

"Big damn heroes, Cap," Bucky yells back, gun cocked.


"I don’t want you to spare me, Steve," Tony snaps, turning uselessly as he strains to see past the blindfold. "If you think you know what’s happening, then you tell me. You wouldn’t spare Bucky if he were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and… possibly scheming. So whatever Bucky would do in this instance is what I wanna do. Do you know why? No matter how fucking bad it gets, you two always come back- with the stories. So… I’m Bucky. Now,” he says, and pauses as he bumps into a wall. “What do I do?”

"Probably not talk so much," Steve tells him. 

Tony flips him off, even though neither of them can see it and he’s probably pulling the finger at the same wall he bumped into. He likes to think Steve gets the gist.


Natasha stops them before they get to shoot. “This is something Stark has to do himself.”

"NO," Tony screams, struggling not to get thrown over the side. "NO, IT’S NOT!"

"Oh," Natasha says, and fires at the man trying very hard to strangle their engineer.


"Tony thinks we have some sexual tension to work off," Steve says, absolutely deadpan, and Bucky raises his eyebrows. 

"I know this is a difficult mission," Steve continues, "but we have to get it on."

Bucky’s expression goes faux-flat. “I completely understand, Cap. We have no choice.”

"Take me, Buck," Steve says. "Take me hard."

"Ha, ha, shut up, we were being tortured," Tony says, and Steve is grinning as Tony drags him away by his collar. "We’ll be in our bunk," he calls to the others.


Clint tilts the hat on his head until it’s over most of his forehead. “Well,” he asks, posing. “What do you think?”

"It’s cunning," Natasha says, lips twitching.

Beside her, Thor is nodding. “A man walks down the street in that hat, they know he’s not afraid of anything,” he says gravely.

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i imagine both steve and bucky like to come up with different ways to poke fun at sam every time they pass him during jogging

because they are shitheads

(the first one is a print you can get here)

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Anonymous asked: tony wooing steve, through the pov of the gang (go for a ride au)


Peggy’s seen worse attempts at wooing.

And by ‘worse,’ she means that one time before Bucky and Natasha got together when Bucky tried to win her over by drunkenly riding his motorcycle off a roof into a pool.

In his defence, it had sounded like a genuinely good idea at the time- Peggy has blurry, vodka-addled memories of yelling at Barnes to do a flip as he gunned the engine above them. And it had gotten a few thousand hits on youtube, so it wasn’t all for nothing, since Natasha had gotten angry at Bucky for doing something so stupid and had refused to talk to him for a week after.

So, Peggy’s seen worse, but this- this, she thinks, could go for a solid second place.

In front of her, Steve is wasted off his face and is trying to do the Robot. But seductively

It’s failing. Of course it’s failing. It’s the Robot, it’s the least sexy dance Peggy can think of, and all she can do is drink more wine and try to sound like she’s laughing WITH him, not AT him. She watches for a few more minutes as Steve drunkenly pops his hips in Tony’s direction, who is even drunker than Steve is and is giggling wildly into Steve’s neck, slurring something that sounds vaguely scientific. 

When the third glass of wine hits, Peggy is officially drunk enough to start dancing with the others, and she lets Natasha whirl her around and around until she gets dizzy, once in a while catching the not-quite-wooing of Tony Stark as Steve Robots his way into his arms.


Sam is trying to get in some last-minute cramming before his Bio test, the test that he is going to fail if he doesn’t suddenly absorb two chapters of information in the next fifteen minutes. It’s possible; he’s done it before with the help of eight cups of coffee combined with adrenaline and some quick notes on his wrist that he pulled up his sleeve to look at during the test.

He’s mouthing along with the words when Tony sits down with them, two Starbucks coffees in hand, and passes one of them to Steve.

Steve looks up from where he had also been mouthing along with his book (but not writing notes on his hand, because Steve never cheats unless Sam whines for days about it beforehand) and eyes the coffee in front of him before turning to Tony. 

"Did you pick that up for me?"

Tony hums into his own coffee, sipping at it like it’s the most important thing in the entire universe. “Yeah. I was dropping in before class, I thought I might as well.”

"Oh." Steve picks it up before smiling broadly. "Thanks, Tony."

Tony mumbles something like ‘no problem’ and Sam is convinced that he’s wearing the big sunglasses inside so he can spy on Steve and no-one can be the wiser.

Steve’s eyes widen when he takes a sip. “You know my coffee order?”

Tony shrugs, says, “I’ve heard you say it a lot,” and drinks his coffee so fast Sam thinks it must be burning his mouth.

Sam tries desperately to focus on his book and not the two morons in front of him, but it’s hard because they’re both so stupid. Sam’s sure he was never like this with his partners.

Steve says, “Well, thanks,” again, softer this time, and Tony waves a hand at him and says, “Don’t mention it, Rogers,” and Sam tries to learn as much as he can about cells before time runs out and he has to scribble things on his arm as he walks to class.


Hands in his pockets, Bucky scans the parking lot again and comes up with zilch. 

He gets out his phone and flicks Steve a text: Where r u hurry up.

He doesn’t get an answer, because seconds after he sends it, Steve comes out of the school with Tony in tow. Both of them are laughing, shoving each other lightly, and Bucky withholds a sigh. He knows what’s happening before Steve says it.

Steve already looks apologetic as he arrives in front of Bucky. “Sorry, I-“

"You got distracted," Bucky supplies. "And now you and Tony had a great idea where to go, and you thought you’d go alone."

"It’s a two-player game," Steve says. "The dance game, down at the arcade- you can come, if you want-"

"Nah," Bucky says. He’s been down that road before, and he’s sworn never again. He spent the whole time at that diner watching them make googly eyes at each other while the other wasn’t looking. It had been nauseating. Don’t get him wrong- separately, they’re pretty great. Even in a group. But Bucky doesn’t suit being a third wheel, never has.

He kind of wants to smash their heads together so they can get on with it already. These Not Dates are getting flimsy, and sooner or later they’re going to have to take the Not part out.

Steve feels guilty, Bucky knows, he can see it written all over his face as he opens his mouth, but Bucky waves him down and gets on his motorcycle. “I’m fine, I was thinking about going over to Nat’s anyway. The gang’s getting together at hers later and having a Brooklyn Nine Nine marathon, you guys in?”

"Sure," they say at the same time, and Bucky chews on his cheek so he doesn’t let out that sigh. 

When he gets to Nat’s, he sends Steve another text: how was the date :P

He gets a reply a minute later, telling him to stuff it, and Bucky grins at his phone before pocketing it and following Natasha into the lounge for a well-deserved bowl of popcorn and the first episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine.


Thirty seconds into the fight, Natasha has to say she’s impressed. Stark doesn’t fight particularly well, but he definitely fights hard. The guy has him in a headlock, but he does down once Tony kicks him firmly in the balls and wrestles out of his grip.

Natasha has already got her guy to run away, blood trailing down the left side of his face, and she helps Tony incapacitate his guy before she goes over to help Steve up.

"I was fine," Tony says, looking down at the guy who is groaning on the ground.

"Sure you were," Natasha says.

Steve winces when he presses his hand to his head and it comes away bloody. “God, getting a lot of head wounds lately,” he says, and then, louder: “Zola’s friends?”

"Zola’s somethings," Natasha says. "Not sure friends is the right word. Did any of us do anything to him?"

Tony shrugs. “We beat the crap out of his last guys?”

"That could do it," Natasha nods. "Steve, you alright?"

"I’m good," Steve says, which could mean anything varying to ‘perfectly fine’ and ‘vomiting blood.’ Natasha’s seen both.

She’s about to suggest they go to her place to clean up, but pauses when Tony hands Steve a plaster. Steve takes it and looks at it, bemused.

Tony shrugs. “Every bit helps.”

Steve smiles, just a flicker of it, before peeling it off and letting Tony stick it into place on his forehead after wiping some of the blood away with his sleeve. After this, he says, “And for the final touch,” and goes on his tiptoes and kisses the plaster, making Steve’s eyes widen.

Natasha watches this exchange silently, her lips quirking when she sees the plaster on his head. “Dora? Really?”

"She’s educational," Tony says, not looking at either of them.

Natasha snorts, and doesn’t miss how Steve keeps touching the plaster the whole way back to her place, like he’s soaking in the warmth where Tony’s lips had been.

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The interesting thing here is that Felicity’s not actually being selfish here, or isn’t being selfish in an “I want you to consider my feelings first” emotional exchange sort of way—her request is not really about herself. My read is that she’s asking Oliver to be selfish. (But Oliver is ALWAYS selfish, Vern! Yeah, he kinda is, but this is different.)

Felicity understands money in a way Oliver does not, specifically: she understands that his vigilante life will be very different and very difficult without his financial resources. Because she knows the value of a dollar and because she knows (intimately!) the cost of outfitting their lair, she’s aware that Oliver losing his financial backing means the team loses financial backing. Even if she invested the money he gave her before he left, she’s used a fair chunk of change to make his renewed quest possible, and a million dollars—no matter how you invest it—is a far cry from billions.

Additionally, Oliver’s social capital is a factor. Because he’s a wealthy, white, socially influential man, he has a lot of cachet that lets him get away with what would otherwise be suspicious behavior (see: running around at night wearing a hoodie, basically). Without money, the story people start telling about Oliver is a very different, much less permissive narrative. He’s less special and less acceptable, and when you have as little regard for crafting a believable alibi as Oliver Queen does, you’ll end up in hot water.

Thea’s refusal to sign those papers—and the Queen family’s subsequent financial ruin—would mean that Oliver could no longer fund his secret life, and that he would no longer enjoy the same level of social access that he did as a CEO or a socialite. That means he’s not invited to parties, he won’t have access to rare heirloom jewelry, he can’t constantly replace his motorcycle when he drives it down the stairs, he can’t upgrade or replace equipment—money paves the way for Oliver to be what he is. He has never been in a situation where his lack of money affects his circumstances—on the island, money wouldn’t have helped, and before the island, it was abstract, because it was a get-out-of-jail-free card. Take away the money and the weight behind his family name, and keep the responsibilities he’s been juggling lately, and Oliver becomes a very minor player with major problems.

Felicity’s reaction here is phrased so that Oliver can shift the burden of responsibility onto her—“don’t hate me,” she says, when (in my mind) she’s really saying, “I will help you make this decision if you will let me, because I am thinking on a different level.”

It’s certainly emotional, and Felicity certainly seems to view Thea as a Very Important Person in this scenario. We don’t know why Felicity places so much weight on Thea’s needs, we just know that Felicity is willing to invest a lot in Thea’s well-being. Is she projecting her own abandonment issues onto Thea? Is she aware of how Thea could be an advocate for Team Arrow? I don’t know, but it’s clear that in this situation, Felicity is making sure that Oliver is fully informed as to his options—and that he’s informed as to her opinion regarding his options.

it’s interesting to note that Felicity has consistently had a better “big picture” notion of events—she has to, because she’s piecing information together in real time, and because she is processing a lot of raw information. Her conclusions are flawed because Oliver is withholding information that will allow her to refine her methods—but it’s pretty clear from this scene that Felicity is looking at the potential for fallout and deciding that drawing Oliver’s frustration is a better bet than having to completely rehab their attack on Slade. They’re already at a disadvantage, and she’s trying to keep the playing field as level as possible. If she can protect Thea at the same time, and maintain an environment that will better protect her friends? Felicity will do it.

(By the way, wanted: an AU where Oliver remains undercover after returning from the island and has to become the vigilante on a shoestring budget. Did someone say something about him working at a florist? He works at a florist. He meets Diggle when Digg is buying flowers for Carly’s wedding anniversary. I can see it now. Thrift stores. omg.)

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little league quidditch

I have never read something so precious in my life.

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Oliver Queen + Funny moments

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